Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I need moral support for this bender
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize