Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just pee around me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
