Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
