Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
