I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need a hoe opinion
go on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
