and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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