I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
