her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
