D3 body, D1 cock
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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