so explain again why im purple
no
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
