I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize