I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
