hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
