you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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