I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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