i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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