I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
