stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
