I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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