I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
