When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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