HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
