tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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