it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
