eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
