I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
