lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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