break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
