i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
