every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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