we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Quick, to the slutcave!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?