Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner