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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind

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• (772): View more from Florida

  What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Han Solo would be ashamed of me.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (585): View more from New York

  yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I think weed is turning my hair brown

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.

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• (212): View more from New York

  She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?

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