I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you inspire me to be a worse person
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
