So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
