I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
