he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
