Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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