Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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