I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
