And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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