We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
