i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
