R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
