What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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