kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
