I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
