It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
