he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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