I wish I could punch you in the face.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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