Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
