He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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