Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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