who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
