Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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