you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
