i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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