we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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