your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
