There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
