I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you win again, gameday.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
