my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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