So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
