i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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