your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
