i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
