Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
