Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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